There are some days where you just want to use the sharp blade of a slow song to make you bleed. It's really quite therapeutic.
Lykke Li - Silent My Song
Christina Aguilera - You Lost Me
P!nk - Glitter in the Air
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
Relationships
I'd really like to know, if anyone out there in the known uni has a chance to come across this, how have you been burned by someone you love? Are you able to look at it objectively and see your fault in it? I'm referring to seeing how you, the one that got burned, had a part to play in your own demise.
We've all had relationships of various intensities in our lives. Maybe there was that one significant other that you fell head over heels in love with, until you found out they were ripped straight out of one of Stephen King's novels (psycho much?). What about those that had beautiful relationships, the stuff of legends, until someone made a stupid mistake.
Regardless, it's interesting to see how the heart reacts to these things. It's interesting to see how the heart goes to battle with the mind. You know you shouldn't forgive them, but you just can't stand to be without. You keep playing your and their every action in your head over and over again to see where it all went wrong.
These things happen to all of us, the toughest and the weakest, it's just that not everyone likes to talk about it or be open with how they felt about it. Why? It's pretty simple if you think about it. Insecurity. Not in the sense you might be thinking, but more along the lines of: "If I speak up, I'll be the loser, I'll be the weak one." or "What if they think what I'm thinking is weird, or they think I'm stupid because of this?" The mightiest of warriors can still have the weakest of hearts.
Final thought: Just be aware that you're not alone. Other people are feeling your pain too, and most importantly: nothing is permanent, you'll pull through.
.
We've all had relationships of various intensities in our lives. Maybe there was that one significant other that you fell head over heels in love with, until you found out they were ripped straight out of one of Stephen King's novels (psycho much?). What about those that had beautiful relationships, the stuff of legends, until someone made a stupid mistake.
Regardless, it's interesting to see how the heart reacts to these things. It's interesting to see how the heart goes to battle with the mind. You know you shouldn't forgive them, but you just can't stand to be without. You keep playing your and their every action in your head over and over again to see where it all went wrong.
These things happen to all of us, the toughest and the weakest, it's just that not everyone likes to talk about it or be open with how they felt about it. Why? It's pretty simple if you think about it. Insecurity. Not in the sense you might be thinking, but more along the lines of: "If I speak up, I'll be the loser, I'll be the weak one." or "What if they think what I'm thinking is weird, or they think I'm stupid because of this?" The mightiest of warriors can still have the weakest of hearts.
Final thought: Just be aware that you're not alone. Other people are feeling your pain too, and most importantly: nothing is permanent, you'll pull through.
.
Friendship
Do I need anything? I'm not sure what you mean by that! when I really needed you, you weren't there for me and now you'd just like to gloss it all over... so you ask: "Do you need anything?"
The truth is, Yes, I do need something. I need you to get over your insecurities and let things be as beautiful as they once were. I need you to man up and apologize for the way you handled the situation. I need you to actually treat the wound and not let it scab over with this viral infection. Yet, if none of that works, what I really need, what I truly need, is to turn my heart to stone once more.
A year Later.
I suppose the virus took hold. The infection festered and the limb was discarded. Who am I kiddin' a limb is something you would've considered useful. You had no use for me. I wish things could've been different. I wish that your insecurities were tamed by you. I wish that you and I could have been Jonathan and David. I would've settled to be Jonathan. I wish that, come forty years from now we could've been crotchedy old buds together and not some distant memory in our potholed minds. I wish that my daughter would've had you as an uncle. I wish, I wish, I wish... and yet that's all they are, aren't they? Just wishes.
Good bye David.
A year Later.
I suppose the virus took hold. The infection festered and the limb was discarded. Who am I kiddin' a limb is something you would've considered useful. You had no use for me. I wish things could've been different. I wish that your insecurities were tamed by you. I wish that you and I could have been Jonathan and David. I would've settled to be Jonathan. I wish that, come forty years from now we could've been crotchedy old buds together and not some distant memory in our potholed minds. I wish that my daughter would've had you as an uncle. I wish, I wish, I wish... and yet that's all they are, aren't they? Just wishes.
Good bye David.
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